A quick word on...

...messenger bags.

I have worn one as my primary mode of carrying things for schools since I started as an undergraduate at the University of Minnesota. I think it is time for me to stop.

Here is the short version of why this is so:



(Photo credit to Emily for managing to avoid both my face and my nipples)

As much as I like have one extremely pronounced trapezius muscle, the ensuing back problems as a result of this imbalance aren't quite worth it.

I started wearing this Jansport messenger bag that my mom bought me (thanks mom!) for a few reasons:



1/ Cuz all the cool kids were doing it.
2/ Kept my laptop safe.
3/ Pretty much the only reason was #1.

When I learned to ride a bike again, I also discovered that the bag fit very well on the small of my back (and again, adding the bike reinforced #1).

Problems started when I started having to carry a lot of heavy books AND a laptop in the bag. I could see little tears in the bottom of the bag. My left shoulder would be sore for days on end. I started noticing hump on my left shoulder when I would shrug. All of this culminated in the sturdy little plastic piece of my bag responsible for regulating strap length snapping loudly as a dropped the bag in place as I'd done hundreds of times one spring day in 2008.

The Jansport bag was dead after 4 solid years of service. I honored it by refusing to buy a new bag until last March. Using a bag with a bad strap is a stupid, stupid idea.

So, I bought a new bag. It was this Chrome bag, which I believed would better distribute the weight of the shit I put in my bag.



Among my other rationalizations for getting this bag were, of course, reason #1.

I had coveted the bags when I worked with a bunch of hipsters at a cafe. And when I was crushin on bike girls at about the same time. And when I frequented nasty basement house parties. I always dismissed impulses to buy one because I "didn't want to be one of those jerks." Here in Georgia, however, we are so far from Seattle that I deemed it safe to be one of those jerks because would know a Chrome bag from a Timbuk2 (or whatever your flavor pretentious commuter carryall). So...I ponied up and had one shipped from Portland via Craigslist.

I was definitely wrong in my assumption. People still wear those bags here. And those people still suck. I try to avoid thinking about whether I am one of those people (read: probably).

I should have mentioned earlier that I've actually measured how much weight I put on one shoulder on a daily basis using the scale at the gym. With just some shorts on, I weigh ~173 lbs. With my bag, my weight is usually between 205 and 215 lbs.

Knowing this, I've concluded that no strap width can ease the back pain and weird muscle growth that continues with my current bag. It's time to go back to elementary school. It's time to blend in with the chemistry nerds. It's time to really deserve those scoffs of the fixed-gear kids.

It's time to get...a...backpack.

I'ma get this one!



And that's the story of how I carry stuff for school.

Jesus Christ, the longest post I've written in a long time is about bags.

Disgusted with myself,

-kevpack