...y'all still say shit like this? As supposed heads of state? I know your country is in a bunch of turmoil...but what the hell is wrong with you?
From the World this Week section of the March 27th edition of the Economist:
"Sudan's president, Omar al Bashir (almost accidentally wrote 'batshit'), refused to postpone elections set for April 11th, despite fears that the country is not ready and that the poll could be chaotic. After the Carter Centre, an independent American monitoring group, suggested a "minor delay in polling for operational reasons", Mr Bashir said "we will cut off their fingers and crush them under our shoes."
Whose fingers? The people messing up the election? The Carter Center's staff? The fingers of Jimmy himself?
Perhaps the quote was taken out of context. Maybe he just said that about something else. Like, uh...yeah I really can't think of a harmless way to say that about anything ever.
very very strange.
-kev-dan
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Monsieur, your...
masseuse.
Got my first massage today thanks to a valentimes gift certificate. I had a bunch of thoughts about it, which probably made me more tense.
1: My feet. I cleaned them, but they were still really close to the lady's face. That made me wicked nervous.
2: They play this sort of elevator-esque flute/harp/warbley violin cd while they rub you. I thought just the birds out the window would have been quite enough. On the other hand, the music did drown out the lady's incessant sniffling. And also...I think she burped a couple of times.
3: Experimental theater thing where you make your whole body go limp came in real handy. It's also really weird that professional massage-ers really have to toe the line between acting like they're dealing with an inanimate lump and acting like they're touching a real human more than any other professional I've ever dealt with. I feel like the lady today acted much too much in the way of the former. Shit was pretty uncomfortable.
4: At the end of the thing, I felt less tense than i did when it started, but then in trying to feel whether i was tense or not, i tensed up again. I give the overall effect of the thing like a 6.5 out of 10. When i was leaving the lady said she thinks i need to come back for an hour, i was one of the tightest individuals she'd ever massaged. That makes sense i guess. Maybe i simply did not have enough credits at my disposal to beat the last boss i.e. the way my hamstrings, hips, lower back, upper back, and neck are all fucked up in these ways that are complex and interrelated.
I think sitting at a computer is also causing problems.
-kevassage
Got my first massage today thanks to a valentimes gift certificate. I had a bunch of thoughts about it, which probably made me more tense.
1: My feet. I cleaned them, but they were still really close to the lady's face. That made me wicked nervous.
2: They play this sort of elevator-esque flute/harp/warbley violin cd while they rub you. I thought just the birds out the window would have been quite enough. On the other hand, the music did drown out the lady's incessant sniffling. And also...I think she burped a couple of times.
3: Experimental theater thing where you make your whole body go limp came in real handy. It's also really weird that professional massage-ers really have to toe the line between acting like they're dealing with an inanimate lump and acting like they're touching a real human more than any other professional I've ever dealt with. I feel like the lady today acted much too much in the way of the former. Shit was pretty uncomfortable.
4: At the end of the thing, I felt less tense than i did when it started, but then in trying to feel whether i was tense or not, i tensed up again. I give the overall effect of the thing like a 6.5 out of 10. When i was leaving the lady said she thinks i need to come back for an hour, i was one of the tightest individuals she'd ever massaged. That makes sense i guess. Maybe i simply did not have enough credits at my disposal to beat the last boss i.e. the way my hamstrings, hips, lower back, upper back, and neck are all fucked up in these ways that are complex and interrelated.
I think sitting at a computer is also causing problems.
-kevassage
Friday, March 19, 2010
Some days...
...the intense sunshine and the overwhelming desire to be outside and ride your bike and pet your dog and work with your hands and be in love right at this very second and bare your arms and legs or your whole torso if you like and drink beer and laugh and laugh and laugh makes you feel like what you're doing isn't probably the right thing and...
what're you tongs like?
-kevinned in
what're you tongs like?
-kevinned in
Friday, March 12, 2010
Lurking, waiting...
...to bite your foot off.
The other day I was thinking about animal sneak attacks. While I was thinking about it, I remembered that the wobbegong shark is my favorite kind of shark.
Look at that thing! It's awesome! It belongs to the subfamily called 'carpet sharks'...really! Carpet sharks! Say it out loud!
And the best thing about this shark is that it's a clever shark. It just sits there on the ocean floor...biding its time...pretending to be dirt...THEN IT GETS YOU!
I mean, it kinda gets you. It probably just gets your foot, because it's not a very big shark...but still...*CHOMP*.
The wobbegong shark is so badass that sometimes it messes people up so bad they think that they were attacked by Jaws or something.
Here is a video from youtube demonstrating why the wobbegong shark is the coolest shark*.
Carpet shark!
-kevegong
*I couldn't actually find any video of a wobbegong shark eating other fish in the wild, but trust me, i remember it from 3rd grade and it is awesome.
The other day I was thinking about animal sneak attacks. While I was thinking about it, I remembered that the wobbegong shark is my favorite kind of shark.
Look at that thing! It's awesome! It belongs to the subfamily called 'carpet sharks'...really! Carpet sharks! Say it out loud!
And the best thing about this shark is that it's a clever shark. It just sits there on the ocean floor...biding its time...pretending to be dirt...THEN IT GETS YOU!
I mean, it kinda gets you. It probably just gets your foot, because it's not a very big shark...but still...*CHOMP*.
The wobbegong shark is so badass that sometimes it messes people up so bad they think that they were attacked by Jaws or something.
Here is a video from youtube demonstrating why the wobbegong shark is the coolest shark*.
Carpet shark!
-kevegong
*I couldn't actually find any video of a wobbegong shark eating other fish in the wild, but trust me, i remember it from 3rd grade and it is awesome.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
I now have...
...a camera! And I use it!
Poorly!
I've been/will be going lots of places in the last/next few months. I've never been really good at providing visual proof that I went somewhere. I'm going to try a little harder now. I've started a photobucket or flickr or whatever (i really don't remember which one it is now, honestly) from when i went to England. I'll put up the web address sooner or later.
Don't have a lot of time just at this moment, went to San Francisco, here are three (un)mentionables.
1: My own personal philosophy on moovin' and groovin', succinctly presented on a Chinatown billboard:
2: Run for your lives!
3: While we were driving through San Francisco, Cameron, my traveling buddy for the day exclaimed, "Holy Shit! Jack Nicholson!"
Not exactly, Cam.
W00000! Spring break Oh Ten! Take off your shiiiirt!
-kevin gate bridge
Poorly!
I've been/will be going lots of places in the last/next few months. I've never been really good at providing visual proof that I went somewhere. I'm going to try a little harder now. I've started a photobucket or flickr or whatever (i really don't remember which one it is now, honestly) from when i went to England. I'll put up the web address sooner or later.
Don't have a lot of time just at this moment, went to San Francisco, here are three (un)mentionables.
1: My own personal philosophy on moovin' and groovin', succinctly presented on a Chinatown billboard:
2: Run for your lives!
3: While we were driving through San Francisco, Cameron, my traveling buddy for the day exclaimed, "Holy Shit! Jack Nicholson!"
Not exactly, Cam.
W00000! Spring break Oh Ten! Take off your shiiiirt!
-kevin gate bridge
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
The shit...
...you say in your sleep. It's ridiculous sometimes.
Last night, totally unconscious, I muttered to Emily:
"Your love is worth 211 dollars"
"That's all?" she asked.
"...for 75 ounces," I replied.
That's $2.81 an ounce!
There's another blog that's totally devoted to this lady's husband's hilarious sleep talking.
Funny stuff.
-kevpor
Last night, totally unconscious, I muttered to Emily:
"Your love is worth 211 dollars"
"That's all?" she asked.
"...for 75 ounces," I replied.
That's $2.81 an ounce!
There's another blog that's totally devoted to this lady's husband's hilarious sleep talking.
Funny stuff.
-kevpor
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