Unhappiest Place on Earth (outside of Disneyworld)

That place is the mo'fuckin' airport.

I'm sitting in O'hare International as of right...now.

I just spent 7 dollars on a beer. Then I ate McDonalds. You would be hard pressed to find unhappier employees. Miserable fathers of 5 read Stephen King. It's Spring Break weekend, girls in the 14-17 year old age bracket are going to Mexico to get sunburns and nasty braids. Fat men carry tennis racquets.

Despite all this, I just saw things that I wouldn't see elsewhere.

In this order:
A man with 2-inch ear hair.
A woman that was dressed to KILL (big heels, ridiculously short yet classy skirt). She pulled it off in a way I haven't ever seen.
A midget.

I plan to escape this with a rather large dose of dramamine and another 7 dollar drink.

Don't say nothin'. Jes bob your head like you get it.

-kansas