Monsieur, your...

masseuse.

Got my first massage today thanks to a valentimes gift certificate. I had a bunch of thoughts about it, which probably made me more tense.

1: My feet. I cleaned them, but they were still really close to the lady's face. That made me wicked nervous.

2: They play this sort of elevator-esque flute/harp/warbley violin cd while they rub you. I thought just the birds out the window would have been quite enough. On the other hand, the music did drown out the lady's incessant sniffling. And also...I think she burped a couple of times.

3: Experimental theater thing where you make your whole body go limp came in real handy. It's also really weird that professional massage-ers really have to toe the line between acting like they're dealing with an inanimate lump and acting like they're touching a real human more than any other professional I've ever dealt with. I feel like the lady today acted much too much in the way of the former. Shit was pretty uncomfortable.

4: At the end of the thing, I felt less tense than i did when it started, but then in trying to feel whether i was tense or not, i tensed up again. I give the overall effect of the thing like a 6.5 out of 10. When i was leaving the lady said she thinks i need to come back for an hour, i was one of the tightest individuals she'd ever massaged. That makes sense i guess. Maybe i simply did not have enough credits at my disposal to beat the last boss i.e. the way my hamstrings, hips, lower back, upper back, and neck are all fucked up in these ways that are complex and interrelated.

I think sitting at a computer is also causing problems.

-kevassage