Esteemed Rat Tail Guy,
There is something growing out of your head.
What could it be?
Did you rush your barber? Pay her for 95% of a haircut? Insinuate that his razor might be put to better use on his lady's moustache?
Is that valiant tress the last known member of the famed dreadlock resistance army?
Or is your skull simply pooping?
Your girlfriend is not attractive. That's ok. She never says anything about your smell and will even occasionally attend your Devilstick competitions.
You are a rogue agent, Rat Rail Guy, and that's fucking righteous. Grow that thing out ad infinitum. No person can take your head poop away from you. It is yours and yours alone.
Your hairdo gives honor to all of that lone dred's fallen brethren.
I salute you,
-rat terr
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